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Asking a question that comes from the heart sometimes takes courage. Does it make you feel awkwardly uncomfortable or like you might be imposing? Perhaps you think you might be viewed as too touchy-feely, or that someone someone might judge you as being too nosy? These fears can keep us from showing someone we really care.
If you would like to get your teenager, spouse, co-worker, partner or even grandparents to open up then I want to give you a very simple, but rather large, tip. It might not happen right out of the gate, but if you're desire is sincere in finding out what is troubling someone, you might be surprised to see how simple it really is to get someone to open up to you.
The normal questions we ask are, "Is everything okay?" or "Are you alright?", which will typically generate a yes, or no, response.
If the answer to that question is "No", then the next question is usually, "What's wrong?"
If the individual does not know what's wrong, or is feeling hurt, then the conversation will likely end with a "Nothing" or "I do not want to talk about it." response. Most people, particularly children, will respond this way if they are not comfortable with the person who asked them. Often people feel you are just being polite in asking but that you really do not want to hear it.
If you observe a problem, based on persons body language or behavior, then being more specific will help get the listener to open up.
To move past the "Nothing" response, simply ask "Is there something troubling your heart?". This question causes a person to; think before they respond, allows sincerity in the conversation immediately and it almost instinctively forces the hearer to decide if they want to be deeply honest with themselves or you.
This question is tender-hearted and being tender-hearted is not for sissies. On the contrary, it takes a lot of courage to be tender toward others and it's one of the most loving things you could do for them.
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